In the continuing saga of Colton Harris-Moore, his mother’s attitude continues to be the high point of an already colorful story:
“Colt is not to be flying a single engine-plane,” she insisted, saying she was worried about engine failure. “When I heard that, that just upset me. The rules are, he carries a parachute with him [...]
for the Saracens, they hold the pass and will not let you by
From an email newsletter I’ve signed up for, which tells you every week what your baby is up to. This is the update for week nine:
Your new resident is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She’s starting to look more [...]
Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What?
Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What cake?
Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What are you talking about?
Ryan: Well, I was thinking of something silly, like if you had a [...]
Star light, star bright, you’ve got the lovin’ that I like all right
According to the orthopedic specialist I saw this morning, this is what’s wrong with me:
Femoral torsion is curving of the thighbone (femur). With internal femoral torsion, the thighs curve inward. The knees, and usually the toes, point toward each other. With external femoral torsion, the thighs curve outward. The knees and toes point away from [...]
R: You’re intoxicated!
E: No I’m not, I’ve only had three glasses of wine! But what’s the fun of being tipsy if you can’t act drunk?
From an email my employers sent out about the Great Swine Flu Panic of ‘09:
“To prevent the spread of influenza, company name* will order disposable thermometers and masks. The thermometers will be given to employees who have an onset of influenza symptoms (feeling too hot/sweating, chills, etc.) while at work. A mask will be [...]
This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho-ward.
The last will and testament of my great-great-great..(I think there’s about 13 or so of these)..great-great grandmother:
In ye Name of God Amen I Elizabeth Howland of Swanzey in ye County of Bristoll in ye Collony of Plymouth in New Engld being Seventy nine yeares of Age but of good & perfect memory thanks be to [...]