The Green Room

If the dextrose they give you to drink to check for gestational diabetes really tastes like Sprite, I’m not missing anything by not drinking soda. It’s been three hours and my stomach still feels queasy. Yech.

I woke up this morning before my alarm went off sweating and with horrible leg cramps and largely terrified by a very vivid nightmare about an extremely bloody serial killer. Not the best way to start the day. But when I got to the coffeeshop (yes, I haven’t given up coffee yet, but [...]

We used the same old commercial egg dye, but used brown eggs for the first time instead of white ones. I like the way the colors come out on the brown ones much better.

But the question is, does it taste like a cheeseburger, or like a gummi?

I wish it was possible, when a couple decided that they wanted to have children, that they could also decide which one of them was going to be pregnant. (This is where lesbian couples have a decided advantage over heterosexuals. What we really need is to be like Ursula LeGuin’s Gethenians.) I [...]

It was such a gloriously warm afternoon that I went outside and drew chalk patterns on our front walk. There are three kids living in the house on the corner, and they had set up a card table on the sidewalk and were yelling, “Bake Sale for Haiti!” at every passing car, so I [...]

I had a million reasons to feel crummy today, but I can’t really say that I did. The bus ride took an hour because there was a wreck on the bridge, work was frustrating and my boss was stupid, and I was more or less constantly hungry, but somehow, it was all ok. [...]

So. I’ve been trying to come up with a clever way to break this story, but the more I think about it, the harder it gets to say anything, so I think I’ll just skip the preamble and get straight to the heart of the matter: I’m pregnant. There is a bun [...]

If I were on twitter, I would have had to post something last night about wearing a $95 hotel bathrobe. For about the last two months, I’d been planning a surprise night out for Ryan, and yesterday was the night. We went to a schmancy restaurant in the Pearl District (I had pear [...]

Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What?
Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What cake?
Ryan: How would you respond if the cake attacked you?
Me: What are you talking about?
Ryan: Well, I was thinking of something silly, like if you had a [...]